8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize