So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
