its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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