there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
