he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
