Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
