New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
