i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
