Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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