I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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