By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
