I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
