dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
