we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize