We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
