Sry I called you an 8
Screwed.edu
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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