Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
