If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
