wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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