You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
