Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize