We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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