stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
