Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
