I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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