just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
