Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
