Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize