Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
