No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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