We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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