well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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