Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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