My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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