Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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