from now on my penis is your penis
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
