Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
