i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
