Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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