addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
