five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
