She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We had sex on a dog bed..
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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