Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize