There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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