Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
