You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
As shirtless as possible
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
