He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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