im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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