I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
