I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
