I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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