Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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