Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is Oprah even human
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
