i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
