how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
