dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize