Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
