Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
