i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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