I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
