4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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