Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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