i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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