Please don't use social media to get back at me.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
