Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
