totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Hippo gnu deer
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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