Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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