Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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