I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
home. puking in laundry basket.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize