When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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