you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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