I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
